This year, I will begin exploring stoicism. To start this journey, I have selected “A Handbook for New Stoics: How to Thrive in a World Out of Your Control” by Massimo Pigliucci. In the introduction, Massimo states that the primary goal of stoicism is to “discover what is in your control,” and ultimately, “the only thing under your control is shaping your character.” The journey toward this discovery requires the study of ethics (how best to live), physics (how the world works), and logic (how to reason appropriately). These three areas of study directly relate to the three disciplines of stoicism: assent, action, and desire. An end state of stoicism may be described as ataraxia or serenity.
For the first week, Massimo assigned a thought exercise based on the dichotomy of control.
Dichotomy of Control – Of all existing things, some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought [assent], impulse [action], will to get and will to avoid [desire], and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing.
The exercise is as follows: pick an event and list items entirely in my control & items not wholly in my control.
Today, I took my two-and-a-half-year-old son to the playground for some father-and-son bonding and to allow him to burn off some energy.
Items in my control:
-The intent to go to the playground with my son
-Valuing time with my son and giving him my attention vs being distracted by digital devices
-The wish for my son to be happy and to experience different events with me
-The way I react to my son
Items not in my control:
-My son’s 2-year-old whims and random desires
-The weather or who is already at the playground
-What my son finds interesting or how long he wants to stay
-Whether he will be upset when I decide it is time to go home
Simultaneous with my journey through stoicism, I will also be reading daily Jewish Wisdom in “The Book of Jewish Values” by Joseph Telushkin. Two things were extremely interesting. The first directly relates to stoicism. He made the point that when you hear or see something that annoys you, offer a prayer, and this practice will make you a better person. He used the specific example of offering a blessing when an ambulance or police officer is driving through traffic with lights and sirens – offer a blessing or prayer that they will arrive in time.
He also offered a quote by Hillel: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor; this is the whole Torah. The rest is commentary. Now go and study.” I found this interesting because Jesus mentioned the same thing when asked which commandment was the greatest. Jesus responded by offering the Shema and summarizing Leviticus 19:9-18 (love your neighbor as yourself). I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised by this; Jesus is referred to as “Rabbi,” and he was a Jew himself.